Finding Family
by pikaree1
Summary: When Natsu and the gang take on a job to find someone's lost son, they never expected the dragon slayers to be targeted. On a new continent with Lina Inverse, Gourry Gabriev, Zelgadis Graywords, Amelia Seyruun, and Val Ul Copt the group encounters strange creatures called 'mazoku'. What's their goal? And what do they want with Natsu and Wendy?
1. Chapter 1

**Petal: My first Fairy Tail crossover fic. I think it's awesome, so don't judge.**

**Gourry & Natsu: What's a fanfiction? Is it edible?**

**Lina & Lucy: NO!**

**Petal: I wonder how many people have read and/or watched both these series...**

**Zelgadis: I suppose I'm stuck doing the disclaimer again. She doesn't own Fairy Tail nor Slayers, but she **_**does **_**have several slightly insane theories.**

**Amelia: That's unjust to say that just because you don't think they're plausible!**

**Gray: I can't wait to see how flame brain screws up this time!**

**Natsu: What was that?!**

**Happy: Aye!**

**Erza: Stop fighting.**

**Gray: Um, fighting? Us? Never! We're besties!**

**Natsu: Um, a-a-aye!**

**Wendy: What a long disclaimer...**

**Juvia: Juvia thinks so, too...**

"Lucy!" Natsu shouted. "I found a new job!"

"What is it?" she asked, grabbing the paper. "Let's see... help a couple find their long-lost son?" She looked up. "This is pretty much impossible, Natsu!"

"But they provide a description!" he pointed out.

"Aye!" Happy agreed.

Lucy scanned the paper. "Description...? Ah, here it is. When he was spirited away a week after birth, he had a puff of pink hair, an afinity to fire, and a ravenous appetite?" She glanced up at her partner. "Nah, couldn't be..."

"What couldn't be?" he asked cluelessly.

She sweatdropped. "Nothing..."

Erza glanced at the paper over her shoulder. "A new job, eh? I'll get Gray." She turned to where he was talking to Juvia. "GRAY! GET OVER HERE, NOW! WE'VE GOT A JOB! YOU MAY BRING JUVIA ALONG IF YOU WISH!"

He flushed. "W-Why would I want to bring her along?!"

Erza raised an eyebrow. "You are courting her, are you not?" she inquired.

"N-NO!"

"Be that as it may, the offer still stands. We leave tomorrow at dawn."

* * *

><p>"I wonder where our employers are," Erza muttered. "They are late!"<p>

"C-Calm down, Erza!" Lucy said nervously. Behind her, Natsu and Gray were hugging each other out of fear, sweating profusely. Even if they someday surpassed Erza, they would still be afraid of her.

"We're sorry we're late!" A female voice rang out through the crisp morning air. The group turned to see their employers, a short woman with carroty-orange hair and red eyes and a tall man with long blonde hair. The woman stopped in front of them, panting to catch her breath. "Sorry," she panted. "I'm Lina- Lina Inverse. The blonde over there is my husband, Gourry Gabriev. We're the ones who sent the job."

"Why is your surname different from his?" Wendy wondered.

"That's an easy one!" Lina said brightly. "Y'see, I'm from the west- y'know, the place that had a barrier around it? Anyway, I got a lot of fame under the name 'Lina Inverse', so I didn't want to change it! Plus, I didn't want to spend money on changing my name!"

"And yet you spent a ridiculous amount for the job?" Erza questioned.

"Of course!" Lina declared. "Only the best for _my_ son!"

"Yup!" Gourry agreed.

"I-I've read about you!" Lucy stammered. "You're the infamous Bandit Killer Lina Inverse! Dragon Spooker, occasional Pirate Destroyer, and Enemy of All Who Live!"

Lina's eye twitched. "Was the book written by an old geezer named Inspector Wizer Freion?" she gritted out.

"Yes, why?"

"Oh." Lina waved a hand in the air dismissively. "That guy's out to ruin me, so don't mind the book. I bet he didn't even include all the times I saved my world. Contrary to popular belief, I earned my title of 'Slayer.' Even a monster admitted it, and Xellos's favorite thing to do is bug me."

"You saved the world?" Gray scoffed. "Yeah, right. Just go home, shorty. No one believes you're old enough to be a mom."

In less than five seconds, he was in a headlock. "Now, listen here, stripper," Lina hissed. "I've faced countless monsters, dealt with justice freaks and self-pitying chimeras, saved the world from destruction by the ruby-eyed Shabranigdo-" -this elicited a gasp from Lucy- "-and given birth! You have no right, to lecture me!" She released him. "Alright, let's go!"

"But where's Xellos?" Gourry questioned.

"He'll show up at some point," Lina responded. Upon seeing Team Natsu's confused looks, she explained, "Xellos is an acquaintance of ours who's helping us find him. It's actually his fault we're on this mission. When my kid was about a week old, Xellos spirited him away somewhere. After about two decades of punishment and pleading, we finally convinced him to help us find him again."

"Lina did the punishment, and I did the pleading," Gourry added.

"Alright, first thing's first!" Lina barked. "Let's find the best restaurant in town! The kid definitely inherited Gourry and my appetite, so if he's in this town, that's where he'll be!"

"Oh, that's easy!" Natsu exclaimed excitedly. "C'mon! I'll show you the place!"

"Lead the way!" Lina and Gourry cheered. No one but Erza noticed the wistful glance they threw Natsu.

No one but Lucy noticed the similarities in Natsu and Lina- accidentally destroying stuff, huge appetites, capability of slaying dragons, and a fondness for fire.

No one but Gray noticed another similarity- both of them got on his nerves.

No one but Wendy noticed they had similar presences to Natsu.

And no one but Natsu noticed the weird floating purple-haired guy. Well, except Gourry, but Gourry's a jellyfish-brain.

The whole group set out for the restaurant.

* * *

><p>Far away, Igneel's nose twitched several times. "Strange," he mused. "There are two new scents next to Natsu's, but they're similar. Huh." He glanced at the sky. "This is getting complicated. I hope they make Natsu happy. Good luck, Inverse, Gabriev..."<p>

**Petal: Well? How is it? I hope you like it! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Petal: So. I finally updated. **

**Lina: Finally. I was starving.**

**Petal: I don't own Slayers.**

**Lina: But I do! I'm their ringleader!**

**Petal: And I don't own Fairy Tail.**

**Makarov: Would you like to? Your magic ability 'Author' is more than strong enough... **_**And I won't have to worry about the damage bills and paper work anymore...**_

The whole gang had finally reached the restaurant and were chowing down on the ham, turkey, venison, chicken, pork, beef, salad, fruit, fish, and whatever other foods you can think of when Lina popped the question. No, not that one. A different one. "So… Natsu, have you ever thought of your birth parents?" she asked.

"Not really," he answered breezily. "I don't even remember them. Besides, Igneel was the one who raised me."

Lina snapped. "Why you little- I gave birth to you! You could at least consider the fact that you have birth parents! And-!"

Xellos landed in front of her, fazing in from the Astral Plane. "Hello, Lina! Are you still mad at me?"

"XEEEEEELLLOOOOOOOOSSSSSS! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" she screamed.

"Did you pay attention to a word she said?" Gourry asked Natsu.

"Not really," he responded, scratching the back of his head. "And I already forgot the little I did hear. Something about my birth parents?"

Lina continued beating Xellos to a pulp.

"Hey, Erza... Is she telling the truth? Is she really Natsu's mom?" Lucy whispered suspiciously.

"What are you talking about, Lucy? I heard nothing at all," Erza responded coolly.

"But-"

"**I heard nothing."**

"Y-Yes ma'am..."

"So... where are we going to look?" Natsu asked.

Lina paused. "Good question. Xellos! Where'd you leave him!"

"In a forest!" he responded cheerfully. He couldn't move, but he's a masochist, so he's perfectly fine.

Lina facepalmed. "Know what? We'll just go around Seyruun and search."

Gray snorted. "Oh, please. Like you'll be able to find anyone that way."

Lina put him in a headlock. 'What was that, brat?!"

"What's Seyruun? Is it a restaurant?" Natsu asked cluelessly.

Lina whacked him on the head. "NO, jellyfish junior! It's a well-known kingdom back where I'm from!"

"Ow..."

"L-sama! You're just like Gourry!" she huffed as she swiped a drumstick off his plate.

"H-Hey! My chicken!" he protested, gaping in astonishment.

Lina shrugged. "You weren't eating it, so you must be done," she replied nonchalantly.

His blood boiled. "I'm all fired up! KARYU NO TEKKEN!" he yelled, charging at Lina.

She dodged and shouted, "Fireball!"

He gulped it down. "Now I've got a fire in my belly!" he smirked. No one took food from him. _No one._ "KARYU NO HOKO!"

"Master's gonna kill us," Lucy sobbed.

She Levitation-ed away. "How is it possible for a human to eat fire?!" she wondered aloud.

"He was raised by a fire dragon!" Erza called up matter-of-fact-ly. "He uses Fire Dragon Slaying magic and is capable of eating it!"

Lina grimaced. "Looks like my signature spells are out of the question," she muttered. "But water spells should be more effective than usual. Aqua Create!"

The stream of water jetted from her hands and hit Natsu head-on, extinguishing the fire that was once more exiting his mouth. She cast the spell repeatedly until he was completely soaked, not to mention defeated. "Phew..." Then she turned to Erza. "Now. Could you explain this 'Fire Dragon Slaying magic' thing to me? I've never encountered anybody who could use something like that!"

"It is a type of ability-type magic," Erza explained. "He can eat, breathe, and set any of his limbs on fire."

"Hold it," Lina interrupted, "what's this 'ability-type' thing you're talking about?"

"It is a magic in which the wizard has imprinted in his or her body and can use at any time. There is another type of magic, 'Holder magic', where the wizard uses magical items."

"Come on, shorty, this is basic stuff," Gray taunted. "How can you not know it?"

Lina bristled and Fireball-ed him. "Well, excuse me for not being from here! Things are different where I'm from!"

"Is that why you can do both fire magic and water magic?" Lucy asked.

Lina stared at her blankly. "Those are standard spells that are categorized as shamanistic magic. Even a novice is capable of casting a decent Fireball. If I can invent my own spells, don't you think I can cast basic ones that everyone uses? Oh, and magic-users are known as sorcerors and sorceresses back home."

"I don't understand..." Lucy muttered. "Things really are different, huh..."

Lina shrugged. "Yeah, well, magic evolved differently in the past centuries while the mazoku barrier was up. Almost everyone who was within it was capable of doing magic, but outside the barrier to the north, they could barely cast simple Lighting spells. I guess magic just evolved differently or at a more rapid pace here, but there's a wider variety of magic people inside the mazoku barrier can use."

This set off a detailed discussion of black magic, white magic, shamanistic magic, and other things.

Gourry and Natsu didn't understand a word while Gray pretended he got it.

**Petal: After all that time, what I'm posting is a short filler... I honestly have no idea where to take the plot now...**

**Erza: There, there. *'hugs' her***

**Petal: Owie... By the way, about the pairings, Grayza or Gruvia? Gray was the only one to see Erza cry, but there've been some Gruvia moments as of late... Please review and please answer the question!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Petal: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!**

**Lucy: *half-deaf* What?**

**Petal: Wendy!**

**Wendy: R-Right!**

**Lucy: *is magically healed* Huh?**

**Petal: I said I'm back.**

**Lucy: Oh. Welcome back.**

**Petal: Hey, readers, I'm sorry about the slow updates. I'm warning you now: this story will only be updated about once a month. I don't own Fairy Tail or Slayers! By the way, I've decided that if I end up pairing up Gray in this story, I'm going with Grayza. Sorry, Gruvia people.**

After the whole lunch fiasco was over, the gang began their journey to Seyruun.

"Explain to me again why we're doing this?" Gray griped.

Lina rolled her eyes and hit him with a bunny slipper. "Because I said so, idiot! Besides, he could be anywhere, and there are lots of travelers who pass through Seyruun, so one of them might've heard of my son! Plus, the authoress can't think of anything else."

"Authoress?" the whole group questioned cluelessly.

Lina sighed. "Five... Four... Three... Two... One."

KA-CRACKKKKKKK!

"What was that?!" Lucy yelped, startled. Natsu and Gray assumed fighting stances.

"That was just the fourth wall shattering," Lina said dismissively. "Honestly, I'm surprised you guys even had one."

Then they heard another noise.

"Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaaaa! Good haul, boys, good haul! Lookit all dis gold!"

Lina immediately perked up. "Oooh! Sounds like a bandit gang!" she exclaimed. "Boy, Fiore sure is full of oppurtunities!" She grabbed her husband by his shoulders. "Do you know what this _means_, Gourry?!" she demanded.

He nodded seriously. "Of course! It means that we can beat up all the bandits and pirates here until the bandits and pirates back home get out of the critically endangered zone which should be around the same time this place's bandits and pirates enter it! Also, it'll be good to build a reputation for ourselves here!"

Lina's jaw dropped. "You actually got it right! You're incredibly perceptive today, Gourry!" (A/N: I swear this happened in one episode...)

Natsu leaped up. "So we're basically just fighting all the bad guys that get in our way?" he questioned.

Lina nodded. "In a nutshell. Let's get going!"

* * *

><p>The bandit boss laughed maniacally. "This is the life, ain't it, boys?!"<p>

"Yes, chief!" his underlings chorused.

"Easy prey, bountiful land, a great hideout, and best of all, no Inverse!"

"Yes, chief!" his underlings chorused, this time much more enthusiastic.

"Hold it right there, you bandits! What were you just saying about me?!"

They froze. "Hey, chief..." one of the bandits began nervously, "is that...?"

"C-Couldn't be!" the man stuttered in fear. "We're miles away from her! That's the whole reason we came to this place!"

"Miles away from _who?!_ FIREBALL!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the bandits screamed like little girls as they tried to dodge the attack that was bigger than them.

"Where do you think you're going?! KARYU NO HOKO!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" they screamed again. Through the smoke and dancing flames, they saw two figures. The first was the woman every bandit has nightmares about. Her cape billowing in the wind, her face shadowed and lit at the same time by the fire, the fangs that had inexplicably appeared in the fourth season glinting, the red color of her hair mixing with the heated hues of the fire, Lina Inverse cut quite an intimidating figure despite her short height. The other was one they'd never seen before. It was a boy, almost a man, really, with bright pink hair. However, that didn't make him any less scary than the woman standing beside him. The light cast on him by the fire that shone off his decidedly sharp-looking fangs, the feral gleam in his eyes, the fire already conjured in his hands, and the scarf that looked like a dragon's scales (which could very well have been a trophy from an earlier victory, the bandits noted) all contributed to the fact that he was strong, intimidating, and dangerous. They both were.

"L-L-Lina I-I-I-I-Inverse?" the bandit boss stammered. "Uh, long time no see. PLEASE DON'T HURT US!" he begged, throwing himself at her feet.

"Aw, that's no fun!" she replied with a grin. "Besides, it would be wrong to let you go unpunished for your unjust actions towards those innocent people you stole from!" Then she paled."Oh, L-sama, I've been spending too much time around Amelia."

Natsu fidgeted, itching for a fight. "C'mon, c'mon, can we fight 'em yet?!" he demanded.

Lina grinned. "Patience is a virtue... BUT NOT RIGHT NOW! LET'S GET 'EM, KID!"

Gourry (who had finally caught up since Lina had Ray Winged and left him behind) joined the battle without so much as a blink of an eye. The bandits were quickly obliterated. I mean, did they even stand a chance? Bandits+A destructive sorceress who's known for beating them up+A master swordsman who's also known for beating them up+A destructive pyromaniac=TOTAL AND UTTER MASS DESTRUCTION. It's simple math, really.

Lina smiled. "That was a good workout!" she declared, stretching. Then she made her way over to the loot pile and started stuffing gold and valuables into her cape.

At that moment, the rest of Team Natsu caught up.

"W-What happened here?" Lucy gasped, noticing all the burnt, unconcious men lying on the ground.

"Natsu, I never really liked you, but to think you'd go to the dark side!" Gray accused.

Erza slowly drew her sword, her eyes nothing but two spots of light shining through a shadow that covered half her face.

Lina hit Gray's head with her bunny slipper again. "Idiot! These are bandits! Gourry and I destroy them for a living! It's time Natsu learned the family trade!"

Gray blinked. "Wait, did you just say fam-"

"No. You must've heard wrong. I said it's time time Natsu learned how to randomly evade!"

"...Huh? That's the best you could come up with? I could swear you said-"

"_**FIREBALL**_."

Despite being an Ice Make wizard, Gray was burned to a crisp. "Geez, you're so violent!" he grumbled, coughing out smoke. "She said 'family trade', right, Erza?"

"Get your ears checked," the redhead ordered. "She said 'randomly evade'."

"But-"

"That is enough, Gray!" she bellowed, turning around and punching him with an armored fist. Then she noticed he was also burned on top of that. "I struck an injured comrade!" she exclaimed in horror. "I must ask one of you to hit me!"

The group's other redhead shrugged. "Sure." BONK!

"Thank you," Erza said while Natsu, Lucy and Happy gaped at her in awe, exclaiming as one, "SHE HIT ERZA?!" The aforementioned girl strode over to Gray, dragged him up, and 'hugged' him. "I am so sorry, Gray!" she exclaimed. "Please forgive me!"

"S'okay," he choked out, struggling to get out of her literally iron grip. Iron grip? Okay, now I've got an image of Gajeel putting Rogue into a headlock in my mind...

Xellos phased in. "Oh, my! Just look at all these bandits! You certainly did a number on them, Lina!" he commented, his typical closed-eye smile on his face.

Lina sighed. "Xellos. What do you want?"

"A lot of things," he answered breezily. "My very own island so I don't have to continue living with my mother-I think I'd call it 'Lone Wolf' or 'Alpha Male' Island- Filia being turned into my mind slave, Amelia forgetting about the 'Life is- ugh- Wonderful' song, a medical license so Zelgadis couldn't protest if I tried to 'cure' him-"

"I'm asking that question seriously, Xellos," Lina interrupted. "And we all know you'd put Zel in a world of pain under the pretense of curing him."

The man simply smiled more widely, opened one eye- his version of a wink- and said his well-known, well-used catchphrase. "Sore wa himitsu desu." Then he phased out, leaving Lina screaming and hollering and all around angry.

* * *

><p>When night fell and after dinner had been eaten- *cough*inhaled*cough*- Lina explained the plan. "Alright, right now, we're here-" she tapped a forest bordering the western outskirts of Magnolia, "-is where we are right now. And here-" she tapped a continent across the sea, "-is where we are headed. This is the continent Server." Noticing their confused looks, she explained, "The authoress had nothing else, and when she typed 'this is the continent', she immediately wanted to add 'Server', like in Digimon."<p>

KA-CRACKKKKKKK!

"The fourth wall broke again," Lucy sighed as she and Wendy went over to it with hammers and nails and wood imagineered by Gollygosh the Pennykettle dragon because normal materials won't work.

"ANYWAY," Lina ground out, "we're going to Konton no Chikyu, a name chosen on a spur of the moment inspiration, and we'll move on to Seyruun, an important, bigshot kingdom there. We'll then go to the palace, say hi to my friend, Princess Amelia, and maybe even have her join us. Then we'll hit all the inns and taverns to ask around and see if anyone's seen my kid. Any questions?"

Lucy raised her hand. "How are we going to get there?" she asked.

Lina beamed at her. "Simple! I'll dazzle a fisherman with my fishing skills, convince him to take us out to sea, and catch fish until some pirates show up! Then we board their ship, take 'em out with as little damage as possible so our ship's intact, and then we sail of to Seyruun!"

"It'll be just like the old days!" Gourry said with a grin. "Except this time, we don't have Wizer hunting us down!"  
>Lina nodded. "Yup. Any other questions?"<p>

Natsu's hand shot up. "I get motion sickness!" he wheezed, looking green at the mere mention of a boat.

Lina tossed him a bottle. "There are motion sickness pills inside that were developed by my friend Zelgadis. Take one every hour when we're on the boat," she advised.

"Zelgadis? Isn't he the Red Priest, not to mention the great-grandson of the previous one?" Lucy gasped, surprised.

Lina nodded. "Yup. He was turned into a chimera, so he ended up covering wide fields of research on his quest to get back to normal. Then he married Amelia, and that's about the time he put all that research to use and developed all sorts of different cures because the hospitals were struggling."

"Did he manage to get back to normal?" Lucy questioned.

Lina grinned. "Did he ever! It's quite comical, really. On his wedding day, when the couple are supposed to kiss, he kissed Amelia, and then he was returned to normal. You'll never guess what he said after that!"

"What? What?"

"He looked her straight in the eye, said 'I love you, Amelia', and hugged her. That was definitely a first! He never hugged her before because his skin was made of stone, so he was afraid of hurting her, but now he can. You know how she reacted? She glomped him! The after-effects of the spell were still lingering, so he didn't end up needing first-aid. He's been training like a crazy person to get his strength back since then..."

Gourry nodded. "Yup. He's taken up challenging Zangulus to fights whenever he and Martina are visiting..."

Lina looked shocked. "Whoa! Gourry! Did you just remember people's _names?!_ Say it again!"

"Say what again?" he asked cluelessly.

Lina sighed. "Never mind... Alright, people, let's get some sleep! Everyone to your tents!"

Wendy reached into her pack-she was in charge of carrying the tents since they were the lightest of the luggage. Erza had brought along her army of bags of food, Natsu was carrying more food, Lucy was carrying her and Wendy's clothes, and Gray was carrying even more food. Lina had everything (money, maps, books, treasure, etc.) stuffed in her cape which was full of seemingly bottomless pockets. Gourry carried nothing but his sword, scrap metal, and whatever is needed to make or fix a sword. I'm sure he had a jellyfish in there somewhere, too...

But we're getting off track!

"Of course we are!" Lina barked. "Get to the point, newbie!"

Quiet, Lina! I can turn you into the perfect lady if I want! Sure, I'll probably get angry reviews like I'm gonna get for including this pointless argument just so the chapter will be longer, but still!

Ahem, anyway, Wendy piped up, "U-Um... We only have four tents. We're going to have to share."

Lina immediately took charge. "Me and Gourry have dibs on the orange tent- it's the biggest, and Gourry's the tallest one here. Natsu and Lucy get the red tent. The droopy-eyed idiot is sharing the green tent with Erza. Wendy and the cats get the blue tent."

"But we're not cats!" exclaimed Carla. "We're _exceeds!_"

Lina immediately crouched down to eye level. "A talking cat! I wonder how much I can sell it for!"

"Carla!" Happy yelled, diving in and grabbing his friend before flying off to the top of a nearby tree.

Lina's eyes widened. "And they fly, too! That should double the price!"

"Hey! You can't sell Happy and Carla!" Natsu shouted in rage.

"Yeah! They're our friends!" Wendy added.

"Relax, I'm just kidding," Lina explained before muttering to herself, "Darn it, there goes a business oppurtunity..."

"Does anyone have any problems with this?" Gourry asked cheerfully.

Lucy's hand shot up. "I do! Why do I have to be in the same tent as Natsu?! Couldn't I share with Erza or Wendy?!'

"No," Lina replied. "Natsu and Gray would kill each other while we were sleeping, and Carla probably wants to sleep in Wendy's tent. She seems to be her guardian."

"Of course I am!" Carla huffed. "I've been watching over her since the day I hatched!"

Natsu frowned. "But then you'd be a kid yourself!"

"Was not! I hatched fully formed!"

"But when Happy hatched, he looked like a kitten!" (A/N: Anyone read that chapter? Little Happy was so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! X3)

"Uh..."

"For L-sama's sake, stop arguing and go to sleep!" Lina snapped. "ALL OF YOU!"

Natsu, Lucy, Gray and Happy scuttled off in fear-they had seen her hit Erza. Erza, Wendy and Carla just went to their tents because they were normal human beings and needed their rest. Wait, that's wrong. It's because they were a normal knight, dragon-like person, and exceed and needed their rest.

Everyone settled down in their tents and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Ugh... No... Please...!"<p>

Lina was awoken by someone's crying. Quietly, she sat up, went outside, and peeked into the other tents. She knew Gourry was sleeping like a log, Erza and Gray seemed to be having a snoring contest, Wendy had the two exceeds sleeping beside her head (thus protecting her ears with their fur), and Happy and Carla had their ears flattened down.

When Lina crept into the red tent, she realized the sounds were coming from Natsu who was thrashing in his sleep. Lucy had stuffed earplugs into her ears and was curled up, snoozing in one corner of the tent. Lina guessed that Natsu had a tendency of snoring and moving around in his sleep, possibly punching anyone who got too close. She was hesitant to take that risk, but hey- she needed her sleep, and she wouldn't get it if Natsu kept on making noise. "Hey, kid," she whispered, poking him lightly. "Wake up!"

His only response was a whimper.

Lina sighed and went closer, intending to shake him awake, but then she realized their were tears running down his face. "Hey... Natsu?"

He continued crying, and she could now make out words. "Igneel... Stop... Where are you going...? No... Please... Please don't go... Igneel..."

Lina stopped, undecided. No mother wanted to see her child crying... ...I think... and Lina was (hopefully) no exception. Then again, the reason Natsu was crying was probably because he was having a nightmare about the day his adopted father- who had been there for him his whole life, _raised him- _left. The sobs began to get louder, and Lina made up her mind. She was going to do something _extremely_ uncharacteristic of her. You might want to cover your eyes or skip this part or something.

Slowly, hesitantly, she moved closer to him, lifted him up slightly, and hugged him, resting his head on her shoulder. "Calm down, Natsu. It's in the past. Shh, shh, quiet, there's no need to cry..." Inwardly, she was nearly fainting, those words sounded so strange coming out of her own mouth. She could see Amelia saying those words, and Filia, and Sylphiel, and maybe even Gourry, but her? She was the opposite of motherly. Plus, Natsu was almost grown. Then again, he was crying, she was his mother, and she had been missing for most of his life. Might as well make up for lost time. She just sat there, hugging her son (who happened to be taller than her) and rubbing his back soothingly until his tears subsided. When the tears were nothing more than paths of salt on his face, she moved to set him back down onto his sleeping bag, but was surprised to notice that he was gripping her tightly. She sighed and sat down. She couldn't go anywhere without waking him up, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Luckily for her, by the time she nodded off, Natsu hadn't moved even once, seemingly at peace.

**A/N: Now we see it from Natsu's point of view! 8D**

"No... Please...!" a child version of Natsu wailed, running after the retreating form of Igneel. "Igneel, stop! Where are you going? No! Please... Please don't go...! Igneel..." He collapsed onto the ground in tears, watching his adoptive father getting farther and farther away. "No... Igneel..." he sobbed. Then, he felt a warming presence (A/N: O.o warming presence? Okay, now you can really tell I have a strange, strange mind...). A figure of a woman was now in front of him. The person was hazy and hard to see, but he instinctively ran to her. She picked him up and hugged him. "Calm down, Natsu. It's in the past. Shh, shh, quiet, there's no need to cry..." She rubbed his back soothingly and he continued to sob in her arms, letting out all the sorrow and regret, seeking the comfort she gave him. Slowly, his tears started to dry, and his sobs became quiet until they stopped altogether. The figure made as if to put him down, but he clung to her, not wanting to let go. He was seventeen, but he needed to satisfy the child in him. He was in the form of his seven-year-old self, and he needed to satisfy his desire for a mother. The woman eased herself onto the ground and sat there, the little boy in her lap.

**A/N: The end of Natsu's dream!**

Woman and boy slept in silence, one understanding a mother's desire to protect, the other understanding what it meant to even have one.

Xellos smiled from where he was watching. "My, my, how touching," he said cheerfully. "I'm actually _glad_ Mistress ordered me to take Lina's child and give him to the fire dragon. How fitting; the son of a Dragon Slayer becomes a Dragon Slayer himself, but taught in the more ancient arts... The dragons are not dead yet, though. It was a miscalculation, but the entertainment it has lead to will no doubt be amusing..." Then he suddenly turned green. "Oops. It appears the anti-positive-emotions pill has worn off. It's time to take my leave." He gathered his strength and phased over to a funeral.

* * *

><p>Igneel smiled. "Well, well. Looks like Natsu finally knows how it feels to have a mother," he said.<p>

Grandeeney glared at him. "You mean you're okay with this?! You raised him! Now you're just going to hand him over?!"

Igneel laughed, but it was melancholic. "He was never mine. He thought it, I wished it, but he was never mine. He is hers, and always will be."

Metallicana looked up from where he was feasting on some cast off Heart Kreuz armor (probably one of Erza's old ones). "Igneel, are you feeling okay?" he asked, disturbed.

Igneel grinned. "Well, this chapter's been pretty serious, so I thought I'd end it serious!"

Grandeeney whacked him on the head with her tail. "Idiot! That wasn't seriousness; that was nonsense!"  
>Igneel and Grandeeney started arguing about the validity of what Igneel's supposed finishing line while Metallicana decided to be smart and ate somewhere else.<p>

**Petal: Yeah... This chapter was kinda serious...**

**Lucy: Look on the bright side! It was longer than your usual chapters!**

**Petal: I guess. What'd you think?**

**Lucy: I think Lina acted very strange...**

**Petal: Yeah...**

**Wendy: Please review to tell us what you thought of this chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Petal: Aloooooo- HAAAAAAAAA!**

**Everyone: Ow...**

**Petal: Sorry. Anyway, I'm back, guys! Woot!**

**Erza: Welcome back. Are you going to make a plot for your story yet?**

**Petal: *whispers* Erza! You're not supposed to tell them that!**

**Erza: I apologize. Where will the story be taking us today?**

**Petal: Oh, you'll see. You'll see. I don't own Fairy Tail!**

**Makarov: Will **_**someone**_** please take it? I wanna retire!**

The next morning was beautiful. The birds chirped their songs, the crickets ended theirs, the sun shone brilliantly, the breeze was light and refreshing, and the grass was covered in small, shimmering drops of crystal-like dew.

It was as if it reflected the hearts of two certain pyros in the camp.

Both Lina and Natsu had awoken with smiles on their faces and songs in their hearts...

...except they were still asleep, but that's still how they felt!

Gourry and Carla were the first to wake up. Both of them immediately walked out of their tents- Gourry wanted to look for Lina (who had mysteriously disappeared from their tent) and Carla wanted to go on a brisk, brief walk to clear her head so she wouldn't lose her cool when dealing with Happy. "G'morning, uh... uh..." Then Gourry frowned. He couldn't remember the cat's name.

"My name is Carla, Gourry," she sighed before continuing to walk off.

Gourry decided to look in the green tent first. Lina might've gone there to pull a prank on the ice guy or talk to the sword lady. He opened the tent flap. Nope. Both residents were asleep and snoring up a storm.

Maybe she went to blue tent? She could've tried to kidnap the cats while they were asleep to sell them but fell asleep herself. He looked inside. Negative. She wasn't there.

Then he decided to look inside the orange tent. He opened the flap. Yup! There she was! And she was... hugging the fire guy? Surprise was written on his face. Lina wasn't the type to hug people. She usually showed her affection for them by hitting them.

But then he noticed the dried up tears on he fire guy's face. He hadn't known that Lina had a motherly bone her body. Huh. Will wonders never cease? He smiled and joined the family group hug. Then he fell asleep again.

* * *

><p>Erza was the next to wake up. She looked around and noticed that her tentmate was still asleep and snoring. "Wake up, Gray," she ordered.<p>

He shot up. "WHAT! I'M AWAKE!" he yelled. For some reason, he looked all stiff and wide-eyed...

"You were snoring," she mentioned. "Come. Let us go wake up the others."

* * *

><p>Gray noticed something. Something rare. Something that has absolutely nothing to do with our imaginary plot. "Erza, you're going outside without your armor."<p>

Erza looked down at herself, surprised. "Ah. Indeed I am. Please wait a moment, then. REQUIP!"

They exited the tent and check the others.

* * *

><p>Wendy and Happy woke up with some (violent) shaking from Erza. "I-I'm awake, Erza-san..." Wendy muttered, her eyes swirling. "You can stop shaking me now..."<p>

"Where's Carla?!" Happy demanded, looking around.

"I'm right here, male cat," Carla sighed, walking into the tent. "I just went for a morning walk, that's all."

Happy relaxed. "Oh, good. Did you find a river? Did you catch some fish? Can I have some?!"

"No, no, and no," Carla answered flatly. "It was just a morning walk."

* * *

><p>Out of all of them, Lucy had the most shocking awakening. When she woke up and turned over (she had been facing the tent rather than Natsu in case he accidentally attacked in his sleep), she saw a very strange sight: Natsu (with tear stains on his face) hugging Lina, who was hugging him back, and Gourry was hugging the both of them. Lucy rubbed her eyes and pinched her arm, wondering if she was still dreaming. She then realized she wasn't. Quietly, so as not to awaken the group of three, she impulsively summoned Crux and had him commit the image to memory so she could analyze it (and show it to the guild) at a later time. All of a sudden she was hit with another image:<p>

Lina, this time looking younger (not that she already looked relatively young, she was probably using some kind of cosmetic or maybe even magic to keep her wrinkle count at zero), was holding a dozing baby wrapped in a red blanket in her arms. The child- probably a boy- had a puff of pink hair sticking straight up on his head much like Natsu's bangs. Gourry, also looking younger, had his arms wrapped around Lina and the baby.

Lucy blinked, and the image disappeared. "What was that?" she wondered quietly.

"That was a memory," Old Master Cru whispered in response. "Your powers are strong enough now to share the images I see. Zzzz..."

Lucy unsummoned him and crawled out of the tent.

"Psst! Guys!" she called. When she had their undivided attention, she pointed to the tent. "Look! Look!"

Erza smiled, small tears forming in her eye. "How heartwarming..."

"That's so awesome! Almost as awesome as Carla and fish!" Happy blubbered.

"Erza-san's right. It's so sweet!" Wendy squealed.

"It truly is amazing," Carla agreed.

"Feh," Gray muttered. 'Cause he dislikes Natsu like that.

And that was the exact moment Natsu woke up! He glanced around in confusion, saw Lina and Gourry, mumbled something like 'parents', and then fell back asleep. The rest of the gang sweatdropped.

Then Lina woke up. She saw that she was still hugging Natsu and tried to let him go and move away, but then she noticed the group looking at them. "This isn't what it looks like!" she yelled.

"Oh, so that means you aren't showing kindness for probably one of the few times in your life and hugging someone," Gray said sarcastically.

"FIREBALL!"

Gray fell back, extra crispy and twitching.

Then Lina slapped Gourry on the head with a bunny slipper. "Jellyfish! Why didn't you wake me up?!" she demanded.

"Ow!" he winced. "I'm sorry! I fell asleep! But why should I have woken you up?"

She whacked him again. "JELLYFISH!"

"What a unique pet name, 'Jellyfish'," Erza mused.

"Maybe you should make nicknames for all of us, Commander Erza!" Happy said brightly on a spur-of-the-moment idea.

"An excellent suggestion, Happy!" Erza decided. "Your nickname shall be... Fish!"

* * *

><p>Somewhere far away<p>

* * *

><p>"I bet that just like her letter-writing skills, Erza's nicknaming skills suck!" Lector snickered.<p>

"Fro thinks so also!"

Sting and Rogue shuddered. "Hopefully, she didn't somehow hear that remark and isn't coming to hunt us down."

* * *

><p>Back to our heroes<p>

* * *

><p>"Strange, I have the oddest urge to introduce Sting and Rogue and their exceeds to my sword," Erza murmured. "Carla, your nickname shall be Cat! Wendy's will be Shellfish! Lucy is Octopus! Natsu is Clownfish! And Gray is Crab!" Hopefully, I won't remember this and won't write Erza calling them these ridiculous nicknames...<p>

Natsu _finally _woke up again. "What's going on...?" he mumbled groggily. Hey, even a happy-go-lucky pyromaniac can be slow to start in the morning! "And why are Lina and Gourry hugging me?"

Lina hit him and knocked him out. "You. Tell. No one," she hissed as she extricated herself from the group hug. "Least of all him."

Erza nodded solemnly. "I swear."

"Me too," Gray, who was still fried to a crisp, croaked.

"And us!" Lucy and Wendy chorused.

"And me," Carla sighed.

"But why?" Happy complained.

Lina turned her attention to him. "If you stay quiet about it, I'll give you a big basket of fish when we get on the boat!"

Happy covered his mouth with his paws. "Mf pf ah fead!" (My lips are sealed!)

"Good. When Natsu wakes up, we eat breakfast and go!"

* * *

><p>Happy turned to the screen from where he was having tea with Plue. "And then..."<p>

* * *

><p>"Are we almost there yet?" Lucy asked hopefully.<p>

"Toughen up," Lina ordered. "There's a ways to go yet."

Lucy sighed and slumped back down, continuing to plod along. "In a novel, this is the part where the protagonist who's falling behind falls into a pit tr-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"

"ARE YOU OKAY, LUCY?!" Natsu called down as Happy dove into the hole to rescue her.

"I think!" Lucy squeaked, twisted in an inhumanly possible position that even a contortionist would have difficulty pulling off. She looked like a human pretzel that was created around a bunch of cones. "But there are SPIKES down here!"

Happy screeched to a stop and flew back up only to turn back at Carla's disapproving look.

"Why was there a pit trap there?" Lucy gasped as she finally reached solid, un-spiky land again.

"Why indeed," Lina muttered. "Or rather, WHO."

"Oh dear! It looks like the pit trap failed!"

The whole group looked up. "Xellos!" Lina hissed.

"Hello, Lina!" he chuckled. "Fancy meeting you here!"

"Enough of the games, Xellos; tell me what you're doing here!" she snapped.

"Why, watching to see if the pit trap would capture its designated target, of course!" he answered. "Sadly, it failed."

"Did you dig it?!" she demanded.

"Me? Oh, darkness, no!" he laughed. "I was merely observing."

"Then was it a different monster?"

"Sore wa himitsu desu!" (A/N: Readers, which are you more comfortable with, this, or the english direct translation?)

"Then I don't suppose you'd even tell me _why_ it was dug!"

"Again, sore wa himitsu desu~!"

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!" Lina fumed as the mazoku phased out. "He's so annoying!"

"Maybe he does it to make you mad!" Gourry suggested.

She whacked him on the head. "No duh, Jellyfish! He's a mazoku! He _feeds_ on negative emotions such as anger!"

"By the way, what _is _a mazoku?" Lucy wondered.

"A mazoku is a monster whose true form resides in the Astral Plane," Lina explained. "They feed on negative emotions, and the higher level ones are capable of taking human form."

"What's the Astral Plane?" Lucy wondered.

Lina launched into a detailed explanation of the Lord of Nightmares, the planes of existence, mazoku, ryuzoku, shinzoku, and the Dark Lords such as Hellmaster Phibrizzo and Beastmaster Zelas.

* * *

><p>When they had finally reached the oceanside, Lucy collapsed to the ground. "Oh, thank the Lord," she groaned. They had been walking (more like running) for miles, and it was already nighttime. "Hey, can we find a hotel to stay at...?"<p>

Lina nodded in agreement. "Excellent idea."

They found a inn and quickly checked in. "Two rooms, please," Lina requested. "Large rooms."

"Sorry, we only have one large room left," the innkeeper apologized. "The strange thing is, there's only one customer in it."

Lina twitched. "Tell me the room number. I might be able to negotiate." She got the number and sped up the stairs. Then she threw the door open. "YOU!" she bellowed.

A stuffed animal looked up. "Flatty?!"

They resumed their typical arguing as if they hadn't not seen each other in years.

That was when Gourry poked his head in the room. "Hey, Lina? You might want to come down and see this..."

"SEE WHAT?!" the sorceress and the prince roared.

"Well... It's about Natsu..."

Lina bolted down the stairs and saw Natsu poking a charred blob of _something_ with a stick. "Gourry..." she said slowly, "YOU INTERRUPTED MY ARGUMENT JUST FOR THAT?!"

"It called itself a mazoku," Erza quickly intervened. "It also said that it was capturing Natsu to 'finish what was started in the War of the Monster's Fall'. Of course, that was all _before_ Natsu defeated it."

Lina grimaced. "Loose-lipped, wasn't it? It must have been confident that it would accomplish its objective. Well, now we have some idea of what the monsters want... They need Natsu for _something_, but we don't know what it is." She sighed. "It's too late in the night to do think about this. Guys, you're sleeping in Pokota's room tonight." At their blank stares, she pointed to the flying rabbit plushie. "Him. The punimal."

"WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT SHORTENING IT OR CALLING ME PUNY IN THE FIRST PLACE, FLATTY?!" he raged.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, _PUNIMAL?!"_

Fortunately, Happy interrupted them. "Hi! My name's Happy! Are you an exceed, too? I like fish! Do you? And how do you fly without wings? And! And! And!" he babbled. Pokota shuddered at the onslaught of questions and zoomed back up the stairs and into his hotel room, the boys of the group following.

"Keep Natsu between the lightest sleepers in case another mazoku comes!" Lina called over her shoulder as she finished thoroughly disposing of the mazoku.

* * *

><p>That night, amid Erza's snoring and the rest of the girls' light sleep muttering, Lina thought back to what the mazoku had said. <em>'I wonder what it meant... NO! Bad Lina! Don't think about it! Get your rest!' <em>She sighed. _'No point in even trying. I'm gonna get some fresh air...'_ She rose from the futon and snuck out of the hotel onto the veranda facing the ocean.

"Can't sleep?"

Lina sighed. "Nope. I guess you can't, either."

Gourry nodded. "Yeah. I can't stop thinking about what the mazoku said and how they're trying to kidnap Natsu."

Lina sighed and leaned back, staring at the sea and full moon contemplatively. They stayed like that for a while until she broke the silence. "Gourry... are we doing the right thing?"

Gourry was startled by the uncertainty and hesitance in her voice. "Lina," he began, "this isn't like you. Sure, we've been apart from him for his whole life, but that doesn't change the fact that we're his parents. As his parents, it's our _job_ to worry about him. Even if he doesn't know who we are, we're still going to worry about him and want to protect him. So quit worrying about it. Just do what your heart says is right and follow your gut like you always do, and everything'll turn out fine."

Lina smiled slightly. "For a jellyfish, Gourry, you can say some wise stuff."

* * *

><p>Igneel was worriedly pacing around the cave.<p>

"What's wrong with you?" Metallicana wondered.

"What's wrong with me? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!" Igneel screamed. "I RAISED HIM TO BE TOUGH! HE CAN DEFEND HIMSELF! _BUT THERE ARE MONSTERS TARGETING HIM, GOSH DARN IT!_ I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT WITH HIM! AND-!"

"Oh, do be quiet," Grandeeney sighed. "His mother- Lina Inverse, I believe- has experience with them, and she's saved the world several times. They'll be _fine_."

"But-"

Metallicana whacked him on the head with his (extremely hard) tail, effectively knocking him out. "There. That should keep him out for a few hours."

Grandeeney collapsed onto the floor of the cave. "Oh, thank _goodness._ Now I can finally relax. Hmm, the floor's gone all smooth from his pacing...

**Petal: I finished! Arentcha proud of me? Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Petal: 'Ello, mates! 'M back!**

**Natsu: That's a funny accent!**

**Lucy: I'm surrounded by weirdos...**

**Petal: Well you're the weirdo for hanging out with the weirdos!**

**Lucy: Well you're the weirdo for writing fanfiction!**

**Petal: ...I will not deny that statement.**

**Lina: START THE STORY ALREADY!**

**Petal: Yeah, yeah... I have a possible theory that would make Lina and Igneel related! If anyone wants it in the story, please say so in the reviews!**

The group got up early the next morning. "Alright, everyone! Let's get going to Seyruun!" Lina shouted as a way to wake them up.

Natsu turned green. "A boat..."

"She gave you motion sickness pills, remember, Natsu-san?" Wendy reminded him.

Lina coughed. "Um, about those pills... Those are the super strength motion sickness pills. I know I said Zel developed them, but that's only half the truth. He made weaker pills for normal people. _Those_ pills are super strength made by his wife, Crown Princess Amelia. Side effects include climbing up high places and yelling stupid stuff about justice."

Natsu grabbed the pills anyway. "I'll take 'em! Wendy can use a spell to get rid of the side effects, can't she?"

Wendy frowned. "I think I have a spell for dealing with side effects of medicine, but I'm not sure it'll work with medicine made with magic from another world..."

"Of course you can do it, Wendy," Carla reprimanded. "You need to have more self-confidence. And if the spell doesn't work, you should develop a new one!"

"Enough yammering!" Lina bellowed. "Let's get ourselves a boat! Everyone get a stick for fishing!"

Once they'd collected the sticks, Lina plucked out some strands of her hair and tied them to the sticks. She quickly muttered a spell and then handed them back out. "That oughta do it. ALRIGHT, LET'S GET FISHING! YOU EAT WHAT YOU CATCH! _RACE YOU TO THE SHORE!"_

"Lina! Wait for me!" Gourry called, dashing after her.

"Hey! Me, too!" Natsu yelled, running after them with super-dragon-speed.

"Aye, sir!" Happy said, flying after them. "I'm gonna catch a whole bunch of fish for Carla!'

Said exceed facepalmed. "Idiot male cat. But I guess it's _sort of_ considerate..." she muttered.

Lucy grinned. "You liiiiiiiiiiiike him!" she snickered. Then she ran off after Natsu before Carla could protest.

By the time the rest of the group caught up, Lina and Gourry had huge piles of fish next to them, and Natsu kept pulling fish out of the water only for Happy to eat it all immediately. A fisherman stood by them, evaluating their skills and not knowing it was magic that had them doing so well. Erza requipped into 'fisherwoman armor' (?!) and started pulling out fish left and right with what appeared to be a solid gold fishing rod (?!).

"Okay!" the fisherman yelled. "You can have the boat! But you'd better bring it back in one piece!"

"We will try our best, sir," Erza said with a nod.

Lina, on the other hand, was already in it and making Gourry heave it into the water. "Get a move on, guys!" she yelled. "Pirate ship at eleven o'clock!"

Natsu grinned and leaped into the boat, ready to wreak some havoc. "I'm all fired up!" he roared.

Gray also hopped into it, ready to compete. "Bet I can beat more pirates than you can!"

"I'll beat more of them than you, droopy-eyes!" Natsu retorted.

"Bet you can't, flame brain!" Gray taunted.

"That's it! It's on, popsicle boy!"

"Stop fighting!" Erza scolded.

"A-A-A-Aye, sir!" they gulped.

Gourry started rowing like a crazy person.

Lina took the first shot. "Burst rondo!" she yelled, and the pirates were hit with a bunch of glowing projectiles.

"Karyu no kagizume!" Natsu bellowed, leaping from the boat and landing foot first on a pirate. "Who's next?!"

"Try not to destroy anything, jellyfish!" Lina snapped. "Easy on the fire magic, there! We don't want to destroy the ship!"

Gourry frowned. "But Lina! I didn't do anything!" he defended himself.

"Not you, jellyfish senior! I'm talking about Natsu!" she shouted, whacking him on the head. Then she turned back to the ship. "Bom di wind!" she yelled, sending the powerful blast of wind at the pirates.

Gourry and Erza bothed lepaed onto the ships with their swords, and Wendy joined Lina in launching wind-based attacks with a Tenryu no Hoko. Gray used his ice magic, particularly at the spots where Natsu had started small fires. Lucy had called out Loke and Taurus to start bashing the pirates. Plue, on the other hand, had somehow appeared and was digging up seashells at the beach. Within the course of a few minutes, Fairy Tail, Lina and Gourry had wiped out the pirates.

Lina dusted off her cape. "Well. That ended rather quickly. A little _too _quickly. They're getting weaker."

"No... _You're _getting... stronger..." a pirate objected weakly. Then he passed out.

Lina smirked. "Whatever. Dump 'em into the sea!" To punctuate her point, she kicked the pirate who had just spoken into the water.

"Glub glub..." went the pirate as he bobbed on the surface with X's for eyes.

Once all the pirates had been left for the fishes and fishermen to deal with, Happy was sent to drag it back to the fisherman.

Lina smiled. "Alright, ONWARD! TO SEYRUUN!"

Happy flew up 'til he was eye level with her. "Lina, you promised you'd give me a boat load of fish!"

Lina sighed. "I guess I did." She glanced at a map. "We're approaching an area containing fish that have a tendency of jumping up in the air; they literally jump into your mouth if you hover with your mouth open."

And so everyone and Happy were happy and fed.

* * *

><p>Xellos smiled as he watched them sail off carefree. "Enjoy the peace while you can," he chuckled. "We'll be striking again soon."<p>

**Petal: Short and kinda lame, I know. And I'm sorry. I'm planning on rewatching Slayers sometime soon, so **_**hopefully**_** that'll do me some good. I'm having trouble with Lina and Gourry... And I'm adding Zel and Amelia in soon... And I have no idea how this story's gonna end... WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**Wendy: I-It'll be okay, Petal-san...**

**Lucy: *sighs* Please review...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Petal: Aaaaaaaaaaand we have chapter I-don't-remember!**

**Wendy: Eh?! The chapter's called 'I don't remember'?!**

**Petal: No, no, I don't remember which chapter number this is.**

**Wendy: Oh. Phew.**

**Petal: And I think maybe I should change my shipping for this story...**

**Wendy: Huh?**

**Petal: I can't be a Grayza anymore, Wendy! Gruvia's too canon! Or maybe I should just not pair Gray in this at all! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I'M SO CONFUSED!**

**Wendy: C-Calm down... *thinks* **_**Good thing she doesn't own Fairy Tail...**_

"I see it!" Natsu exclaimed. "Land ho! Land ho!"

After a week at sea, the group had finally reached their destination. Needless to say, they were all very relieved.

"Yes! I don't have to take those motion sickness pills anymore!" Natsu yelled from atop the nest. "It's unjust to make people say things they don't want too!"

Lina sweatdropped. "Believe me, we'll _all_ be happy about that."

"Bye, jellyfish," Gourry said sorrowfully, dropping the sea creature back into the sea.

"Finally, thing's are going to go gback to normal weird instead of overly weird," Lucy sighed. "Right, Wendy?"

"Y-Yes!" Wendy agreed. "No offense to Natsu-san, though!"

"Yes, offense to him," Gray corrected. "I'd say he was the weirdest of all this whole trip." He checked to make sure no one was listening in on the conversation and whispered, "Well, aside from Erza."

"What was that, Gray?" the knight asked, raising an eyebrow.

"N-N-N-Nothing!" he stuttered fearfully.

"Wimp," Lina muttered. "Alright, Gourry! Full speed ahead!"

The oars went into overdrive, Gourry pushing one and Erza handling the other.

When they finally reached the shore, everyone stretched, Natsu commenting on how nice it was to be back on dry land, and then they headed into the city.

They were met with varied responses.

"IT'S LINA INVERSE!" someone yelled, sounding the alarm.

"OH NO! LINA INVERSE IS BACK! CLOSE ALL THE RESTAURANTS!" a chef screamed.

"Miss Inverse, how nice of you to drop by!" magic shop owners exclaimed happily, excited over what treasures and artifacts she might have brought back from her journey.

Lina waved them all off. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, we need to get to the castle, so OUTTA THE WAY!" Her glare made them all back off, and the group sped off to the castle. A group of people tried to hurry ahead of them to warn their monarchs.

* * *

><p>"LET ME THROUGH!" Lina bellowed.<p>

"N-No!" the newbie guard stuttered. "Y-You're u-u-unauthorized p-personnel! Th-The crown prince and p-princess shouldn't have to w-waste their t-time talk-k-king to y-you!"

Lina glared. "FIRE-"

"Lina-san!"

The cry of a familiar friend stopped her from burning the poor guard to cinders. "Amelia!"

The crown pirncess of Seyruun was waving from a window. "It's good to see you're back, Lina-san! Who are those people with you?"

Zelgadis poked his head out as well. "Let them in if you don't want to die," he ordered. At the guard's frightened look, he explained, "That's Lina Inverse!"

The guard squeaked and ran away.

"Wimp," Lina scoffed, stomping in. "And honestly, you'd think they'd be trained to let me in by now!"

The rest of the group sweatdropped and followed her.

* * *

><p>"Lina-san! Gourry-san!" Amelia exclaimed, hugging them. She had long ago overcome her 'unjust' habit of trying to pretend she didn't know them. "It's so good to see you two again!"<p>

"Why are you here? Because I know this isn't just a friendly visit," Zelgadis said flatly. "You always have a reason."

Lina nodded. "Blunt as ever, eh, Zel? I just thought we should let you know that we're embarking on another adventure. Wanna come?" It had been ages since the group had last traveled together to defeat something evil.

Amelia frowned, and Zelgadis shook his head. "We can't. As the crown prince and princess, we have to stay here and deal with our responsibilities. I wish we could, but..."

"Nonsense!" a voice boomed. They turned and saw...

...A GIANT GUY WITH A MUSTACHE AND BEARD WITH A CROWN ON HIS HEAD!

"Who's that?" Lucy asked.

"That's the king, Phil," Lina said.

"Oh."

Lina sighed. "At least you met him after he'd taken the throne. Your dreams would've been crushed if he was still crown prince."

Lucy waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, please. I had my 'Prince Charming' dreams destroyed at a young age."

"How so?"

Lucy slapped a hand over her mouth. She shouldn't have said anything, knowing Lina's personality...

Erza answered for her. "Lucy comes from the formerly illustrious Heartphilia family. She likely met several princes at extravagant parties her father used to hold. I don't doubt that some of them were unsavory characters."

Lina's eyes were stars. "Do you have any leftover wealth hidden anywhere?!"

"Ahem!" Phil cleared his throat, regaining their attention. "Amelia! Zelgadis! I have no doubt that Lina-dono has come to ask you to join her because there are mazoku running wild once more! So for the sake of peace and justice, the two of you must accompany her!"

Zelgadis shot Lina a skeptical look to which she replied with a shrug. "That's pretty much it in a nutshell. The mazoku are targetting this guy." She jerked a thumb at Natsu who was staring at Phil.

Suddenly, the boy spoke up. "You're so cool!" he exclaimed. "You're a _giant!_"

Lucy sweatdropped. "This is how he reacted to my celestial spirits..."

Lina elbowed Natsu's head. "That's enough of that! We need to get a move one! C'mon!" Without any further talking, she dragged him off. Everyone else quickly ran after them, sweatdropping all the while.

"So fill us in. What's going on?" Zelgadis demanded once they had reached a restaurant.

"Well -munch- you see -crunch- the mazoku are -gobble- attacking Natsu over here -snarf- and Xellos -chomp- showed up again recently," Lina explained through mouthfuls of food.

Zelgadis groaned. "Oh, great, _him again_?"

"That's very unjust, Zelgadis," Amelia reprimanded him.

"Amelia, he's a mazoku. They don't care about justice," Lina sighed, swallowing a pie whole.

While they were talking, they didn't notice Wendy had disappeared. After all the food had been devoured, the first one to notice was Happy. "Hey! Why's Carla bound and gagged?! And where's Wendy?!"

Lucy pulled the gag off of Carla and started to untie her. "The strange monsters from before took her," the exceed explained. "There's still time! Get going!"

"So they're going after _all_ the Dragon Slayers?" Lina demanded.

"WENDY!" Natsu roared, sprinting out the door.

"What's going on? Dragon Slayers? And monsters?" Zelgadis hissed.

"The Dragon Slayers are being targetted by the mazoku, but the reason why is anyone's guess," Lina said quickly. "C'mon! Let's go!"

**Petal: Another short chapter. And this one ends on a cliffhanger! *dodges rotten tomatoes* Eep! Please review!**


	7. ALRIGHT! Now the adventure really begins

**Petal: I'M BACK FROM MY MONTH-LONG VACATION!**

**Mirajane: Welcome back!**

**Petal: AND THE REVELATION THAT ZEREF'S NATSU'S BROTHER REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY DESTROYS MY STORY!**

**Mirajane: Oh, my!**

**Petal: BUT I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE SINCE THIS IS A FANFICTIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! AND I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL! By the way, anyone ever read Elemental Gelade? Cisqua's speeches reminded me of Amelia...**

_ALRIGHT! Now the adventure really begins!_

Lina and the gang skidded after Natsu, who was following Wendy's scent.

"The Dragon Slayers were taught Dragon Slayer magic by the dragons who raised them," Lucy explained as they ran. "They have fangs, a heightened sense of smell... They're practically dragons themselves!"

Zelgadis frowned. "Interesting. How is that possible?"

"Who cares about that, Zel! We have to get going or we'll lose him!" Lina shouted. "I want to get to the bottom of this, and Wendy's kidnapper is the perfect person to ask! RAY WING!" She grabbed Gourry and flew off. Zel sighed and cast the spell, shepherding the others into the bubble as well.

"I see them!" Amelia called from atop a church spire. "Natsu-san! That blue-haired dot over there is Wendy-san, right?" When he confirmed it, she shouted out the location: "They're right outside the west gate of the city!"

The whole group sped up, mainly to keep up with Lina and Natsu, who were _definitely_ not going to let the stupid mazoku get away.

"Why do you think the mazoku are after the Dragon Slayers?" Zel inquired.

Lina shrugged. "The first one we encountered mentioned something about continuing where they left off in the Koma War. I assume that they mean they're going to have the Dragon Slayers use their magic to eliminate all the dragons." She grimaced. "The thing is, we don't know _how _they plan to do that. Mind control, possession, hypnotism... We have no clue at all. _That's_ what we need to find out."

Zel nodded. "I get it."

"Good. NOW LET'S GET THAT MAZOKU!"

* * *

><p>Wendy glared at her captor as she tried to chew through her gag. He had her trapped. Without being able to speak, she couldn't cast any spells or attack.<p>

"Ha ha ha!" he chortled. "Not so tough now, are ya, girly!" He was a grotesque monster with a rat face, the fur matted and greasy and the eyes red and beady. He was also sporting a bruise on his leg. "Can't do nothin' when yer tied up an' gagged!"

"FIREBALL!"

_BOOM._

"What was that?!" the now-crispy mazoku demanded, coughing.

"Me!"

The rat looked up.

It screamed.

For there was Lina, another Fireball already forming in her hands, and Natsu, fists and feet aflame. Gourry was right behind them with his sword, Zel was shaking his head in pity, and Amelia was on top of a tree.

"VILLAINOUS MAZOKU!" she began. "TURN BACK AND REPENT FOR YOUR VILLAINOUS WAYS! THE HEAVENS MAY FORGIVE YOU, BUT I, AMELIA WIL TESLA SEYRUUN, CHAMPION OF JUSTICE, WILL NOT!"

Then, of course, she was pushed off the tree by a beam the mazoku had shot out of its mouth. Zelgadis, having expected this, was standing directly underneath with his arms out to catch her in what was apparently a well-rehearsed move.

Back to the fight!

"KARYU NO TEKKEN!" Natsu shouted, charging at the mazoku.

"FIREBALL!" Lina fired off another destructive sphere.

It was over pretty quick, seeing as the rat was a really low level mazoku.

"Honestly, Wendy," Carla scolded as she untied her charge. "Letting yourself get kidnapped by such a weak monster!"

"I'm sorry, Carla," Wendy said ashamedly. "I was caught off guard..."

Meanwhile, Lina was busy interrogating the mazoku. "What are you guys plotting she demanded, a scary glint in her eye. "And tell me the truth! My lunchtime was interrupted for this, and _nobody_ messes with Lina's lunch!"

The mazoku was sweating bullets. "Um... Well, that is... Y'see, ma'am, uh..."

"Spit it out!" Lina ordered. "Or do I have to Fireball you again?!"

"I don't know! I can't tell you anything! I was only told to get the little one! I wasn't told why I had to!" the rat babbled. "All they said was that it was a direct order from Lord Dynast-"

"Dynast?!" Lina demanded. "As in Dynast Grausherra?!" She started slamming her head against a tree. "First Shabranigdo, then Gaav, then Phibrizzo... When will it end?!"

The mazoku saw its chance. While she was distracted, it could sneak away to the Astral Plane without fearing that she'd hunt it down. It took its chance and disappeared.

It was Lucy's exclamation that alerted the group. "The monster disappeared!" she called.

"AAAAAAH!" Lina screeched in frustration. "We could've gotten more information from it! How dare it disappear!"

"Actually, Lina, you really couldn't have!"

They all turned and saw a very familiar smiling face.

"Xellos!" Zelgadis growled.

"Now, now, Zelgadis," Xellos chided. "Is that how you greet a friend you haven't seen in a long time?"

"No, that's how I greet a nuisance," the man ground out.

Lina put up a hand to stop him. "Wait, Zel. He might actually drop us a hint this time." She turned to the purple-haired mazoku. "Well, Xellos? Care to tell us anything?"

"Well, as you guessed, Lord Dynast wants the Dragon Slayers so he can wipe out the dragons race. Nothing gets past you, Lina," he chuckled.

"And how is he planning on doing that?" she demanded.

"What can I say except... that's a secret!" Laughing, he disappeared.

"Ah, why can't he ever give a straight answer!" Lina yelled.

Gourry blinked. "I didn't really follow what's going on, but... We're going on another adventure... Right?"

"Yes, Gourry, we are," Lina sighed. "But first... LET'S FINISH LUNCH!" She, Gourry, and Natsu ran off back to Seyruun, leaving the rest of the group in the dust.

"Ha ha ha! They're so amusing!" Xellos chuckled from where he was hidden. "I look forward to seeing how you deal with this, Lina... I do indeed..."

**Petal: Sooooooooooo... No dragons today!**

**Igneel: *sulking***

**Petal: Yeah... I decided to focus the story on the group... And I've finally decided to start naming my chapters... 25 more to go, folks!**


	8. BOOM! A Competition of Destructiveness?

**Petal: Heya, everybody! How's summer vacation treatin' ya? I know it's treatin' me fine! I actually had time to write a oneshot earlier this week!**

**Levy: Wow, congrats!**

**Petal: Thanks, Levy! Anyway- I'M LEAVING THE COUNTRY IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS! So if I don't update until then, you'll know when I'm gone for two weeks after that. I'll do my best to write while abroad, though!**

**Gajeel: Blah, blah, blah... Ya don't own Fairy Tail!**

**Zelgadis: Or Slayers, and thank L-sama for that.**

**Petal: ...BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET! Chapter start!**

_**BOOM! **_**A Competition of Destructiveness?!**

"So what do we do now?" Lucy asked. It was the morning after Wendy's rescue, and they had returned to the castle, and the Slayers had holed themselves up in the conference room, taking the Dragon Slayers with them. "It looks like they want to go after those mazoku things, but we have a job to do..."

"The only thing we can do is finish our job," Erza said, nodding. "We are Fairy Tail wizards, and we have an obligation." Then she sighed. "Although what I _really_ want to do is hunt down those mazoku who are trying to capture Natsu and Wendy. Just as we have an obligation, we also do not abandon our own..."

"Let's just leave flame-brain with the nut," Gray suggested. "We'll look for the kid while they figure out the Dragon Slayer thing."

Erza hit him on the head. "Gray! I know you are an ice wizard, but that is no excuse to be so cold-hearted! Natsu and Wendy are our comrades!"

"I'm just saying that we should leave Natsu!" he defended. "He can hold his own. We'll take Wendy with us so we can protect her, but squinty-eyes will stay with the crazies he belongs with!"

"I HEARD THAT!" Lina screeched, barging into the room and slamming her elbow into Gray's head. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CRAZY?!"

Gourry sweatdropped. "Hey, Lina, calm down..."

"We've decided on our next move," Zelgadis said calmly, addressing the rest of the group. "We know that Dynast is behind this, and Seyruun's spy network has discovered that a mazoku-obsessed cult near the city is holding a competition, and the prize is a manuscript from the Claire Bible about one of the dark lords and their powers. There is a chance that it's about Dynast, and that'll be immensely helpful."

"Yay!" Lucy cheered, but Erza stopped her.

"That seems a little too convenient," the knight pointed out. "What if it is a trap?"

Amelia nodded. "There's always that to factor in, of course, but don't worry! The Power of JUSTICE will ensure that we'll be fine!"

" 'Xellos probably planted it, so we might as well take the chance since Lina is too valuable a pawn for him to hurt any of us at the risk of losing her'," Zelgadis translated.

"I'd yell at you for calling me a pawn, but you're right, and there's nothing any of us can do about it," Lina sighed.

"Right. Let's get going," Zelgadis ordered.

"What?! But we haven't had breakfast yet!" Lina shouted.

"That cult will not wait for us to get there," Erza pointed out.

"Wait a minute!" Lucy called as everyone began walking. "What's the contest anyway?!"

Zelgadis and Amelia looked back at her gravely.

"It's not a contest," Amelia began.

"It's going to be a _massacre_," Zelgadis finished. "It's a contest to see who has the capability to cause the most chaos and destruction. We've got _Lina Inverse_ on our side. She causes more chaos in a week than an average mazoku does in a month. Thus, a massacre."

Wendy shivered. "Lina-san... is kinda scary..."

"It's okay, Wendy-san!" Amelia said comfortingly. "She may be a little unjust and a little cruel and violent and a glutton, but Lina-san is a-"

"_Who are you insulting, Miss Justice Freak_," Lina ground out, grinding her fist into the top of the younger woman's head.

"She married Zel, so wouldn't she be 'Missus'?" Gourry wondered.

"Pipe down over there, Jellyfish."

"What about our job?" Erza asked, changing the subject. "Are we still going to look for your son?"

"As a side quest," Lina said, waving a hand dismissively. "What's important right now is saving the dragon race."

"Aye!" Happy agreed cheerfully.

"And look, we're here," Gray pointed out.

"Yeah! Let's blow stuff up!" Natsu cheered. "I'm all fired up!"

"So let's break in through the front door!" Lina declared. "FIREBALL!" The flaming projectile zoomed through the air and blasted the heavy, wrought-iron doors to bits.

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!" the alarm blared. Foot soldiers dashed out and soon had the group surrounded.

Lina put her hands up. "We aren't here to fight you. We simply wish to take part in the competition." She grinned ferally. "After all, blowing things up is a great stress-reliever!"

"Who are you?" asked the only one with a helmet guardedly. "Be warned: anyone who does not fight for the mazoku is immediately put to death."

"We've followed a mazoku's orders before," Lina said calmly. "Now, we're here to participate. Take us to your leader," her calm voice became very evil, "or you'll get a taste of a Fireball like the door did!"

"Why, you-"

"Calm down, lad, calm down..." an eerie voice echoed. The whole group turned around and saw a dark hooded figure. "So... You wish to take part in this competition...? Very well, then... We welcome you with open arms... Please follow me..." He shuffled back into the dark, dank confines of his fortress.

"Don't tell me we're going in there..." Lucy said nervously.

"This is so cool!" Natsu shouted, running ahead of them.

"DON'T YOU DARE GET AHEAD OF ME, YOU BRAT!" Lina shouted, bolting after them.

"WAIT UP, FLAME BREATH!" Gray snarled, also running head.

"NATSU! GRAY!" Erza boomed, dragging Wendy along with her.

"LINA(-san!)!" Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia called, running after her.

"Guys! Don't leave me here!" Lucy panicked. The soldiers milling around were very scary, what with the voodoo dolls stuck to them and the creepy expressions and all. She ran after the rest of the group, but she quickly became lost. "Where am I?" she sighed, entering a room. "Guys? You here?" She noticed a piece of paper and curiously picked it up. "This is..." she gasped.

* * *

><p>"This is where the contest is taking place..." the hooded guy said eerily. It was quickly becoming apparent that he did everything eerily. "That machine over there will measure the power of your black magic... And an impartial judge will decide who looks like they're enjoying blowing stuff up the most..."<br>Lina smirked. "No worries, guys. I've got this thing in the bag."

"Hey, Lucy's gone!" Natsu noticed.

"Ah, your blonde companion... She is probably lost somewhere in the castle... She'll find her way out eventually... CONTESTANTS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE COMPETITION SITE..."

In an instant, roughly fifty small groups of hooded people arrived.

"EACH TEAM, SEND YOUR CONTESTANT TO THE FRONT... EVERYONE FORM A LINE IN ORDER OF RANK..." He turned to Lina and the gang. "Your representative will be at the very back of the line..."

"Oh, come on! I hate waiting!" Lina complained. "BUT I guess I have to. I'll be eliminated if I don't, right?"

The hooded man nodded. "That is correct... And then you won't get the manuscript..."

"How come she gets to go?!" Natsu demanded.

"Can _you_ use black magic?" Zelgadis countered. "Lina is likely the most powerful black magic user in the Red World."

"Hey! That wasn't what it was called in that other chapter!" Gray objected, shattering the fourth wall.

"Well, the authoress is incompetant," Zelgadis responded calmly. "You know, I've always wondered why these fanfiction people call the female writers 'authoresses'. The word 'author' is for all genders..."

In the time it took to stay all that, the line had somehow gone until the only one left was Lina. _'Can't use my biggest spells; that would be useless, especially because of these third-rate wizards,' _she thought. _'But I'm sure no one would object to a Dragon Slave...' _"Darkness beyond twilight/Crimson beyond blood that flows/Buried in the flow of time/In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness/Let all the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess! DRAGON SLAVE!" BOOM. The machine was destroyed, and all the third-rate contestants went all sparkly-eyed.

"Ooooh!" they said collectively. "Wooooooooow!"

Lina turned to the eerie hooded guy, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Now, gimme the-"

"Lina!" The group turned around and saw Lucy panting in the doorway, a paper clutched in her hand. It was obvious she had run to get there, but she was too late. "There goes my idea of saving this place from being destroyed," she sighed. "Anyway, Lina! The manuscript- it's not about Dynast! It's about some guy called Phibrizzo!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Lina screamed. "I ALREADY KILLED THAT GUY! I MISSED BREAKFAST FOR THIS?! THAT'S IT! DRAGON SLAVE! DRAGON SLAVE! DRAGON SLAVE!"

"LINA! YOU'RE DESTROYING THIS PLACE!" Lucy shouted.

"JUST LET HER DO IT!" Gourry called over the loud explosions. "SHE'LL BE MUCH LESS LIKELY TO BLOW UP AT THE REST OF US LATER!"

So Lucy summoned Horologium, Wendy hid with her, Erza used an Explosion armor, Gray made an ice shield, and Natsu started eating the explosions. In the meantime, Gourry, Zel and Amelia dug an underground bunker, as per usual.

Once Lina had finished blowing up the fortress, the group was on the road again. "If Xellos is really the one who gave it to them and spread the rumor, next time we see him, I'm gonna pound him flat," Lina grumbled.

"I don't know about you, I'm gonna pound him flat anyway," Zelgadis said darkly. The two Xellos-haters were exuding a very dark aura.

"Lina-san! Zelgadis!" Amelia shouted. "Such emotions will only strengthen Xellos-san! We must fight him with good emotions- love and joy! We just need to sing the 'Life is Wonderful' song!"

Zelgadis shuddered. "Not that one. Never that one."

"I said it once, and I'll said it again: that song drives me nuts," Lina declared. "Now let's get lunch!"

And so they ran off under the midday sun, trying to find something to eat.

**Petal: The end. Let's have a word from Xellos, shall we? Xellos! Did you give those bandits the manuscript?**

**Xellos: That's a secret!**

**Petal: Ugh, typical... Please review!**


	9. CURSED! Body switch!

**Petal: ...Er, hi, everybody!**

**Lina: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO UPDATE?!**

**Petal: *cowers in corner* I'm sorry! I was abroad on vacation for two weeks! Then I was getting back into my natural sleeping patterns! And then I was reading manga! And watching anime! And reading fanfiction! And by the time I remembered this story, I was working on my Pokemon version of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire which has not been uploaded yet! Please tell me if I should change the title to Slayers FAIRY! I'm afraid I'm getting obsessed with Lina/Zel friendship, so I'm worried that I gave Lina too much interaction with Zel and not enough with Gourry! So today it's gonna be Lina talking with Lucy! But I like writing characters with Zel's type of personality! I OWN NOTHING! **

_**CURSED!**_** A Body Switch?!**

Lina and the gang trundled through the forest carrying bags of loot.

"Why did we have to raid that creepy castle?!" Lucy demanded. "They may have had rare magical artifacts, but what if they're cursed?!"

"And _that_ is why I oversaw the loot gathering," Lina said. "I've been in this business for years, missy, and I have a good sixth sense for this kind of stuff. Not only that, it also suits our purposes- the loot makes for an excellent research project for me and Zel, the results can possibly be used by Amelia to further strengthen Seyruun's barrier against mazoku, we might find something pertinent to Dynast's plot, and when we're done with 'em, we can sell 'em! Foolproof!"

"We do this all the time," Gourry added, trying to console the younger blonde. "And we haven't died yet, have we?"

"I do not think I am comfortable with this," Erza sighed, shaking her head. "Looting goes against my morals."

Lina raised an eyebrow. "What, and cults worshipping mazoku don't?"

"Flame brain, what's with the extra bag?!" Gray demanded.

"I saw something really cool!" Natsu said excitedly, waving the extra bag around. "So I stuffed it in here!"

Lina's fist immediately connected with his head. "Idiot!" she scolded. "For all we know, it could be a cursed object! Why do you think I chose what we took, amateur?!"

"But it was cool," the pink-haired boy complained. "See?"

And then he proceeded to something extremely stupid.

He pulled it out and held it up for everyone to see.

It was a statue of two people standing back to back wearing the 'comedy and tragedy' drama masks. The eyes in the masks were made of precious gems, one with diamonds, the other pearls. One was painted black, the other white, and there was a pale gray where they met. It was crudely made with rough outlines, but Lina could sense a strange magic around it.

The rays of the sun hit the gems of the mask, and the group felt like they were being ripped in half.

A minute later, the feeling was gone. However, Lina stood taller- she realized she was above her comrades. She also found herself staring directly at... herself.

"What?!" she demanded. Her voice was deeper than normal, and actually... it sounded like Gourry's. She looked down at her hands and found them in blue fingerless gloves. Grabbing her hair and holding it in front of her face, she discovered it was blonde. "_I can't believe this!_" she screeched. "_I'M IN GOURRY'S BODY!_"

"Lina-san, I think I'm in yours," the former redhead heard her voice say.

"Amelia, I swear, if you make one of your Justice speeches while your in my body, the repurcussions won't be pretty," she threatened.

'Zelgadis' stared at her. "Wow. Are you my twin?"

'Erza' facepalmed. "Oh, wonderful. Gourry's stuck in my body."

"And you are in mine," 'Carla' observed.

"WHY AM I IN ICE PRINCESS'S BODY?!" 'Gray' screamed.

"OH, YOU THINK THAT'S BAD?! I'M SUFFERING FROM OVERLY HIGH BODY TEMPERATURE OVER HERE!" 'Natsu' snapped back.

"...I'm a cat," 'Happy' said blankly.

"As am I," 'Carla' marveled.

"And I'm a human," 'Amelia' stated calmly.

"I-I'm in Lucy-san's body!" 'Lucy' exclaimed.

"And I'm in Wendy's!" 'Wendy' declared. "Isn't that cool, Natsu?!" 'She' looked expectantly at the pinkhead.

"I'm not Natsu, I'm Gray!" the boy roared.

Lina sighed. "We're getting nowhere like this. Alright, first, we should identify ourselves. I'll start. I'm Lina in Gourry's body."

"And I'm Gourry in Zel's body! ...I think."

"Yes, you are. I'm Zelgadis in Erza's body."

"I'm Amelia in Lina-san's body!"

"I'm Natsu in Popsicle's body!" The currently black-haired boy frowned. "And my body temp is way too low!"

"I'm Gray in Pyro's body, and _my_ body temp is way too high! Are you sick or something?!"

"Say that again, stripper?!"

"Sure, flame breath! Are you sick or something?!"

"YAAAAAAAAH!"

Obviously, a brawl ensued.

Lina sighed. "At least we know that the body switch hasn't hindered their movements in the least bit. Next."

"I am Erza in Carla's body."

"...I'm Lucy in Happy's body." The blue cat attempted to bury her face in her paws but failed due to the different proportions.

"I'm Wendy in Lucy-san's body..."

"I'm Carla in Amelia's body."

"I'm Happy in Wendy's body!" the youngest of the group declared excitedly. "Isn't that cool, Natsu?!"

"Yeah!" he answered happily.

"I wasn't talking to you, Gray, I was talking to Natsu!" Happy exclaimed.

"But I am Natsu! I just ended up in Gray's body!"

"Huh?!"

Lina started hitting her head against a tree. "This is gonna be a loooooooooong day."

"I can't disagree with you there," Carla said sympathetically.

"W-Wait, what about our magic?!" Lucy panicked. "Did our powers transfer, too?!"

"From the fact that Natsu and Gray are complaining about their body temperatures, I doubt that," Zelgadis sighed. "I believe only Amelia, Lina, and Gourry won't have that problem."

"Pretty much everyone around here is born with the same sort of magical power inside their bodies," Amelia explained. "Some people are stronger than others, and others have a natural preference for different brands of magic, but when you get down to it, it doesn't really matter. Lina-san is talented at black magic, but she has potential for white magic as well because of her high magic capacity. Because of this, I'll most likely be able to use my spells."

"Lina also once said that Gourry has a high capacity for magic," Zelgadis said thoughtfully. "He just doesn't have a good enough memory to remember the chants for spells. She'll probably still be able to fire off her better techniques..."

Gourry grabbed his sword from Lina's belt. "It's not like it's a problem for me!" Gourry said cheerfully. "I'm a swordsman, not a sorceror!"

"If Zel wasn't on par with you in terms of physical strength and capability, then yeah, you'd have a problem," Lina deadpanned.

"CAN THIS BE UNDONE?!" Natsu and Gray demanded. "AS AWESOME AS IT IS THAT WE HAVE A CHANCE TO BEAT ERZA NOW, I DON'T WANNA BE IN THIS JERK'S BODY!" They turned to glare at each other. "WHAT'D YOU SAY?!"

They found themselves brained by Lina.

"Be quiet and let's go," she snapped. "You're _so_ lucky that the nearest town is home to an acquaintance of mine who's well-versed with curses. And if a sacrifice is required to change us back..." She glared at them threateningly. "...I don't have any problems with handing over one of you."

"Meep," the two chorused.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, let's go!" she declared, turning back towards the way they had been headed and starting to walk.

"The world is so big from down here..." Amelia said, looking around and taking longer strides to catch up. When she did, Lina's fist connected with her head.

"Don't. Say that. Ever. Again," the sorceress snarled.

"This your own body you're hurting, Lina-san..." Amelia whimpered.

"Whatever."

Wendy looked confused. "They seem to be taking this rather well," she mused.

Lucy sighed. "Why are we surrounded by weirdos?" Then she found herself being scooped up and plopped on a mess of black hair. "What-"

"Even if I'm stuck being Ice Man, at least Happy on my head is familiar!" Natsu said happily, wrapping his scarf around his neck.

Lucy sighed. "Natsu, I'm-"

"HEY! WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THAT SCARF ON, FIRE FREAK?!"

"'CAUSE IT'S MINE, AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

"BOYS!"

"A-a-a-a-a-aye, sir!"

"Yep," Zelgadis sighed. "This is gonna be a long tri- OW!" With his center of balance off, the man tripped and fell over.

"Are you okay?!" Amelia demanded.

* * *

><p>Lina banged on the door. "Hey, Ira! We need help!"<p>

The door opened, revealing an elderly woman who looked for all the world like our stereotypical witch. "Body switch curse?" she asked promptly.

Everyone nodded.

"I thought as much. Come in." She led them through the corriders of her home, which looked for all the world like that of a stereotypical cookie-baking granny. "We'll go to the basement- that's where my laboratory is. Do you know what caused this?"

Lina nodded, holding up Natsu's bag of loot. "Yeah, it's a statue," she explained. "Black and white, gems for eyes, drama masks. It's very crudely made, but effective."

"Oh, yes, I know what that one is," Ira sighed, opening a trap door and leading them down a set of stairs. "I also believe I know who made it. Did you by any chance find it in a castle belonging to a mazoku-worshipping cult?"

"Yep."

Ira facepalmed. "I knew it. That's a curse I created in my younger days. Lina, do you remember my apprentice?"

"Yeah, why? Did he make it?" she asked.

Ira nodded. "Exactly. If you'll recall, he was fond of nosing through my records and looking at the more complex curses I did when I was his age- I think he wanted to prove me wrong because I said he was mediocre, which he was, by the way. Then the idiot took off to join a cult that worshipped mazoku, but he must have made that statue before he left and took it with him."

"So now what?" Lina asked. "I hope you have a way to reverse this, because-"

"I can't make Justice speeches!" Amelia wailed.

"My sense of balance is off," Zelgadis muttered.

"I can't use my magic!" Wendy explained.

"I'm an exceed!" Lucy exclaimed.

"I do not see why that is a problem," Erza said idly. "Flying is a very convenient ability."

"I DON'T WANNA BE IN _HIS_ BODY!"

"I don't get many lines," Gourry said sadly, having noticed the fact that he had barely gotten to say anything the whole chapter.

"I can't fly!" Happy bawled.

"-these idiots are complaining like there's no tomorrow, and it's getting on my nerves," Lina growled, finishing her sentence. "Please, Ira."

The old lady rolled her eyes. "Oh, psh, that's nothing. When I first used the curse, there were a _hundred_ people out of their own bodies. Anyway, you need the light of the full moon to turn you back, not to mention a few other materials. Luckily, tonight's the full moon, and the materials can be found around here."

"What are these materials?" Erza inquired.

"Two diamonds and two pearls," Ira listed. "The moonlight must reflect off of the diamonds and into the pearl eyes, while the pearls must reflect the light onto the diamond eyes. There are lots of jewels in the cave right outside of town, and the port has a lot of clams that produce pearls. I'll help you with the exact placement; just go get the goods."

"Perfect," Lina said, dropping her bag and directing everyone else to do the same. "In the meantime, can we leave these with you to check over for curses? If anything catches your fancy, you can keep as payment."

"That should do," the old woman said, looking satisfied. "Now get going."

"I haven't known you for very long, Lina, but that struck me as strange," Lucy mentioned once they were out of the house.

"Oh? What did?" she asked.

"You telling that old woman that she could take anything she wanted. You never really struck me as the generous type," the younger elaborated.

Lina waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, that. Well, about five years ago, Gourry got turned into an animal by a curse. I specialize in offensive magic, not curses, and as much of a genius as I am, I didn't have the proper knowledge nor materials to figure out how to fix him. Then Ira came and undid the curse- she's been a curse specialist since she was as young as you, you know. She's one of the few people I actually respect, so of course she's gonna get special treatment from me. However!" She grinned. "She's interested in curses, not treasure! The things she picks out would fetch lower prices outside the blackmarket because they've got dangerous curses on them, so I wouldn't have made as much as a profit with them anyway!"

Lucy sweatdropped. "Ah, I see... So it's still in your best interests."

"Pretty much," Lina nodded. "Now, let's divide into teams! The cave team will be me, Gourry, Natsu, Lucy, and Happy. Everyone else, you're gonna be at the port catching clams and searching them for pearls! And remember..." Her eyes gleamed. "Bring everything you catch back to Ira's. Mertli Town has the best clams!"

Zelgadis and Amelia sighed, obviously used to this. "Alright, everyone, let's go. We have to get two pearls and a battleshipload of clams before nightfall," Zelgadis declared as he and his wife started shepherding the teens and exceed to the shore.

"To the cave!" Lina bellowed, charging off.

"Hey, Lina?" Lucy asked when they were well into the cave. "Why did you choose me to go, too? I mean, I can understand Natsu, 'cause, you know... I promise I won't tell! And I also understand Happy, since he's Natsu's sidekick, but where's that leave me?"

Lina tutted. "_You_," she said, pointing at the girl turned exceed, "are not supposed to be questioning me. _You_ are supposed to be bowing at my feet and thanking me for deeming you worthy of my prescence!" She laughed at Lucy's shocked expression. "I'm kidding. I just _chose_ you because you're close to him." She nodded at Natsu. "I'm no fool. I may have been shy about my own emotions when I was younger, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot about them. I'm a fighter and a merchant, and being able to read people is imperative in both life and death situations and business deals. I figured I may as well get to know you..." She grinned evilly. "...and tease you relentlessly about the fact that you like him."

Lucy blushed. "I-I don't like him! Not like _that_, anyway!" she exclaimed, denying Lina's claim. "W-We're just teammates!"

"Yup, you like him," the older woman said, nodding. "Don't try to deny it. I'm not stupid. I'm the genius sorceress Lina Inverse, after all!" She chuckled. "But seriously, I know. I also know something else..."

Lucy saw a glimmer of mischief in the sorceress's eyes, and she was very afraid.

"...I know I'm gonna use this against you until you tell him how you feel!" The sorceress giggled, though it sounded weird in Gourry's voice. "Now, _why_ won't you tell him, Lucy?" As she said this, she casually backhand punched a monster.

"If I answer that, can I stay on your head?" the girl asked quickly, noticing the monsters up ahead.

"Sure, why not?"

"Thank you!" She quickly hopped onto Lina's- or rather, Gourry's- head, burying herself as far into the blonde locks as possible. "Anway, Natsu doesn't know the first thing about romance! Even if I did tell him, he wouldn't get it! But..." Her voice dropped. "More than that, I'm afraid of _rejection_. I don't think I could handle that, you know? And besides, it would be even more awkward because we're partners. It would make us distracted on missions, and one of us could get hurt because of that!"

"I see..." Lina frowned, mulling it over as she provided an example of Gourry's (unused) magic capacity by Fireball-ing another monster. "But hey- you don't get anywhere in life without taking chances, you know. If I hadn't taken a chance and cast the Giga Slave over twenty years ago, Gourry would be dead, Zel and Amelia would be dead, I'd be dead... Heck, the world might be in ruins! But I took the chance," she clenched her right hand into a fist, "and I won."

Lucy looked at the sorceress with new eyes. She had known from the book written by Freion that Lina Inverse was powerful, but she hadn't known that the woman was saved-the-world kind of powerful.

* * *

><p>"Do you like Lucy?" Gourry asked amiably as he chopped a monster in half with his sword.<p>

"Of course! We're partners!" Natsu responded, punching another one with a flaming fist.

"Okay. Do you like her enough to marry her?"

Natsu turned and stared at the man blankly. " 'Marry'?"

"You know, when two people get together and live with each other for the rest of their lives and maybe even have kids-"

"Oh, you mean like mates!" Natsu exclaimed. "...Well, yeah, isn't it obvious?"

Now, if Lina had been there, she would've facepalmed and punched him out. However, she wasn't there. It was Gourry.

"Yeah, it is," he answered. "But I just wanted to make sure."

"Oh." Natsu thought for a moment. "Do you think Lucy isn't sure?"

"Actually, I think she doesn't even know," Gourry said honestly. "Women can be kind of unobservant sometimes."

"Oh." Natsu blew flames into another monster's face. "So I should just tell her?"

Gourry was hit with a sudden premonition of Lucy punching Natsu in the face yelling "WHAT'S WITH YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN?!" "I don't think so. Start small. If you suddenly go up to her and tell her that you love her, she might think you're crazy. Lina did when I said it, and I ended up getting the silent treatment for two months." He shuddered at the lonely memory. "Luckily, most of that time was spent in Seyruun because Lina wanted to see something important that was going on there, so I could talk to Zel who explained what I did wrong. Just pick a flower and give it to her or something. Who raised you?"

"My dad, Igneel!" Natsu exclaimed with a toothy grin.

"Okay. Did he tell you anything about courtship?"

Natsu nodded. "I have to compliment the one I'm courting and give her gifts and stuff... Oh! That's what you were just saying!"

Gourry smiled. "Uh-huh! So give it a try!"

"Give what a try, gentlemen?"

Gourry and Natsu looked up to see a woman in a Victorian dress floating in the air.

"Who are you?" they asked in unison.

She smirked and tossed her pale green hair. "I am Malna, a servant of Lord Dynast. I've been sent to capture Natsu Dragneel. Though..." The smirk faded. "I located him here from his spiritual signature on the Astral Plane, but I was told he had pink hair and a blue cat. The scarf's right, though..."

"I _am_ Natsu!" Natsu yelled, enraged. "I'm just stuck in Freezer's body!"

Malna frowned and shook her head. "Oh, no, no, no, this will not_ do!_ Lord Dynast wants you for your Dragon Slaying abilities, not for your spirit! Oh dear, oh dear, what _shall_ I do...?" She stared at him pondering the question, before her eyes lit up. "I know! Let us play a game! It is called 'Twenty Questions'. Each of us will ask twenty questions which must be answered truthfully. Now, doesn't that sound fun?"

"On the contrary, Malna-san! It sounds quite boring!"

All three turned to see Xellos floating a short distance away, smiling as usual.

"Or rather, it makes _life_ boring," he chuckled. "For if I ever gave away one of my many secrets, Lord Beastmaster would order me to kill them, and they're simply to amusing to kill! I would be very sad to do away with my favorite playthings. And so..." He turned to Malna. "I suggest you return to Lord Dynast, Malna-san. For if you don't..." He opened his eyes. "I will have to eliminate you- on Lord Beastmaster's orders, of course."

Malna tsked. "Oh, well. I had hoped to deal with this before you appeared, but I suppose it can't be helped. _Au revoir_, gentlemen!" And then she teleported away.

"Be careful, you two!" Xellos said cheerfully, his eyes closed once more. Then he, too, teleported away.

"Was that Xellos?!"

Lina and Lucy ran over to the two, Lina's borrowed face livid with anger.

"Yeah," Gourry and Natsu said simply.

"YOU SHOULD'VE TRIED TO KEEP HIM HERE, JELLYFISHES!" she yelled, knocking their heads together. As both heads were rather hard, they both went 'Ow'. "THEN I COULD'VE TRIED TO GRILL HIM FOR INFORMATION!"

Before she could continue ranting, however, Happy ran in with two diamonds. "I got 'em, Natsu!" he crowed.

Lucy sweatdropped. "Can we just take the gems and go now...?"

* * *

><p>"Everyone, stand in a circle around the statue!" Ira ordered. "And for goodness sake, <em>don't knock the jewels down!<em>"

The group did as she said (though not without some fighting) and the moon reflected its light off of the diamonds and pearls. The statue's eyes also lit up, and everyone felt as if they were being ripped in half again.

"Oog..." Lucy, now back in her own body, muttered, wobbling a bit. She was slightly surprised when she found herself caught by strong arms. She looked up and found herself face to face with Natsu.

He grinned down at her. "It's good to be back!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Lucy smiled back. "Yeah, it is," she said, getting over the momentary dizziness of being returned to her own body.

"And, uh... I have something for you," he said. He grabbed Gray's shirt (which had obviously been thrown off the moment the ice mage's spirit returned to his own body) and dug through the pockets, eventually coming up with a beautiful diamond, bigger than the ones Happy had found.

"Natsu...!" Lucy gasped, taking it and staring at it in wonderment. "Thank you; it's beautiful! But... where'd you get it?"

"The cave!" Natsu said with a grin.

Lina smirked and nudged her side with her elbow. "A girl can do a lot of things with a diamond, you know- make it into a necklace, sell it and then pay off her debts or rent, or even turn it into a wedding ring!" She laughed uproariously when the blonde girl's face immediately turned red.

"Oh, yes, I almost forgot," Ira said. "Lina, you have a visitor."

The redhead blinked. "Eh? Who is it?"

"It's me."

Lina turned and gasped. "You-!"

The boy, looking to be in his teens, tilted his head to one side. "Yes...? Do you know me...?"

She swallowed. "No, forget it. You just looked like someone I used to know. Are you Filia's son?"

The boy's golden eyes lit up. "Oh! Did Mother tell you about me?"

"Y-Yes, she did," Amelia piped up, getting over the shock she had also experienced. "Your name is Val, right?"

He smiled. "Yes," he said happily, "it is. Mother heard of what's happening with the mazoku and all that and sent me to help. It's in the best interest of the dragons, after all. And, uh..." He pointed at Zelgadis, Natsu, and Wendy. "Why are they staring at me, and why does the lavender-haired man have his sword drawn?"

"Sorry," Zelgadis apologized. "Like Lina said, you look like someone we used to know." To Gourry, he whispered, "Why didn't you? I thought he had come back to kill Lina, and you're the one who worries about her the _most_..."

"I didn't sense any hostility from him," Gourry said simply.

Zelgadis sighed. "Of course. You've always been more attuned to this kind of thing..."

As the swordsmen continued their whispered conversation, Natsu stepped forward to face Val. "You smell like dragon!" he said excitedly.

Val grinned. "You do, too, you know. And I am one. According to Mother, I'm the last of the Ancient dragons."

Wendy also walked forward. "I've never heard of an Ancient dragon before."

"I can explain that," Amelia said. "In Fiore, I understand that dragons are categorized by element. Over here, we tend to categorize them by appearance. We have Golden dragons, Black dragons, Green dragons... Ancient dragons were some of the most powerful dragons of them all before they went to near extinction. Val-san is the last of the species."

Lina sighed. "Look, this is all well and good, but can we go back to Ira's? I want me some clams!"

Everyone cheered in hearty agreement.

**Petal: Aaaaaaaaaaaand that's it! I've introduced a new OC, Malna, because I can't find a wiki page of Sherra Grausherra! I wanna read the books with her and Dynast in 'em, but one: I don't know which ones they are, and two: I'd have to find a used copy of it online sold cheap, but I don't even know if it's been translated into English! And now Val's appeared! And we're getting a little bit of NaLu! I'm so proud of myself! So**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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